After spending the bulk of 2014 debating whether or not I was going to join a gym of some sort, I finally decided, at the close of the year, to take the plunge (for those of you who know me, I am not one to make quick decisions on certain things, as I weigh the pros and cons ceaselessly). My announcement on Facebook stunned quite a few people, as I am the last person they would have thought would actually do something like this. My blog/diary is meant to be a humorous recounting of my slow progression to a better me. Since laughter really is the best medicine, my blog should be viewed as a homeopathic remedy of sorts, allowing you to feel better about yourself because you will be able to say 'Wow, at least I'm not that guy'. Below you will find my list of reasons, goals, and absolutes for my gym experience and my blog:
My reasons for going through with this modern-day version of Medieval torture:
- Much needed stress reduction
- Further alleviation of depression to work with my medication
- A desire to take my health seriously, as I am not getting any younger (chronologically that is)
- A desire to shed my own personal suburban sprawl, a.k.a. weight gain
- A desire to become leaner and induce the jealousy of younger gay guys (in the immortal words of Justin Timberlake: I'm bringing sexy back)
My goals for the upcoming year:
- A healthier diet by June (Mediterranean Diet--not a diet per se, just much healthier food choices)
- A more svelte me by June
- A more toned me by December
- Turning heads in the gay community, both timeless and priceless
- Maintaining my hard-won physical achievement over time
My absolutes for this self-inflicted pain-filled physical odyssey:
- I will always look fashionable in athletic gear (this is going to be one hell of a stretch, as athletic gear isn't exactly the height of fashion)
- I don't sweat, I glisten (my body will exude more unicorn tears than normal due to heightened physical activity)
- I will not take a bunch of topless gym selfies--I'm a proper lady after all
For a final note, not all of my posts will necessarily be this lengthy--some will be short, some will be long. My posts will hopefully make you smile and laugh, as I plan on laughing a lot, through the pain and agony that is to come. Honestly, I look forward to any and all comments that you choose to leave, preferably on Dammit, Gym rather than on Facebook (I will use Facebook to announce new entries for those who choose to not subscribe to my blog). If you do post a comment on Facebook, I will somehow incorporate them here, especially the funny ones.
Sit back, relax, and enjoy the Amtrak disaster that will unfold over the weeks and months ahead! My overall goal is to either serve as an inspiration to others, or failing that, to be a warning to others.
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