Being a trained historian, I have marked 30 December 2014 as an utterly historic day, at least on a personal level. It was on this very day that I resolved to battle the two front war going on in and around me: the stealth attack of fat cells that currently reside in my body against my will and the ridiculously shitty diet that allowed those fat cells to show up in the first place. In the past, I had no problem passively destroying fat, compliments of my metabolism. Unfortunately, as time has caught up with me, my metabolic Maginot Line became porous and was easily breached by a sugar-fueled blitzkrieg of fat, hence my reason for finally joining a gym.
As I stated in my previous entry, I finally cemented the decision to pursue a fitness goal (this was also compliments of examples set by several friends of mine), and my search for a gym was the result of that decision. Even with making a firm decision to do this, I was still looking for ways to procrastinate, which the various gyms I interviewed easily saw through with their bullshit detectors. Originally, I was going to take a long time to decide and make up my final decision on my birthday, January 9--that of course would have led to me not making a decision. Instead, I decided to do the opposite of what I normally do in a case like this and resolved to make up my mind by the end of the day. With that 'bravery', I made my decision and signed a long-term contract which will hold me accountable to myself.
I won't tell you the gym I am attending, not because I am an asshole, but because I don't want to advertise, as many of you don't live in the area, which makes it pointless to do so. What I will share is yet another list (I love a good list) that delineates the perks associated with the gym of my choice:
- The strapping young trainer I spoke with, a relatively recent graduate from Miami U of Ohio, was a ridiculously hot male specimen
- Evenings at the gym are pretty quiet, as there are few people working out, which I see as a major plus (I'm not a huge of people in general)
- Several of the guys in the gym were fantastic eye candy
- Personal training at any time--this is good, as I haven't got a damn clue how to operate any of the machinery there, with the exception of the beverage vending machine (my form is perfect with that one)
- The gym is pretty close to where I live
- I get to shop for clothing--sure, it is workout clothing, but it is still shopping for clothing
- Paying $30 a month to be purposely pained will force me to keep going--I hate to spend money for no good reason
With that, my two-front war has become official. Soon to follow, my first night with a trainer and creating a battle plan which sadly looked more like the aftermath of Waterloo, the Bay of Pigs, or any math test I have ever taken.
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