The Dreaded Assessment: Let's Get Physical
After enduring the terror of seeing my body weight and body fat percentage in numeric form, I didn't have much time for emotional recovery. 'A' jotted my information down for posterity to add to my file to check progress over the course of time and then said the words that horrified me even more than my weight: 'Ok, let's head over to the other side of the gym so that I can work you out'. As we walked to the other side of the gym, I managed to keep my panic at bay even though I was having a PTSD flashback to high school gym classes where my athletic prowess was less than what one would call 'stellar'. While trying to keep myself together mentally, I noticed the positions of people in the gym to determine if they were going to be able to see the spectacle of me working out, which of course, the vast majority in the gym could, much to my chagrin. Because I hate to look like an a**hole in public, it felt as though I had now descended into the deepest, darkest pit of gym hell--the only thing missing was a math teacher asking me questions about quadratic equations while strains of country music played in the background (by the way, I can't stand math or country music).
Upon arrival to the group workout session area, I was horrified further by the fact that there were windows on two sides of the area (the gym is in a strip shopping center), giving anyone walking by some of the best seats in the house (other than being inside) to watch the hilarity of me discovering that I do, in fact, have muscles that I didn't know existed. Thankfully, mother nature helped me out with this, as it was ridiculously cold outside, and no one would want to stand around for long. After shooing a couple of people relaxing after a workout from the area. With that, my physical assessment had begun.
My assessment of my performance: In my mind, I was like a triumphant Roman general returning from another stunning victory in Britannia, with the crowds screaming 'Nailed It!' while flower petals were raining down on me and laurels were thrown at my feet.
Reality: I had great form on the downward motion, but forgot that exercise is not for the purposes of relaxation, and wound up sitting for a moment on the top of the box before I stood up again. At this point, I am sure that 'A' realized that this guy was going to need a lot of help. After the briefest of moments, 'A' told me I had good form, but that I wasn't supposed to actually sit, rather, I needed to rise up just as soon as my butt hit the box which she again demonstrated for me.
Final Result: After being shown the movement again, I performed 9 more squats, some more rickety than others, but I got through it with 'A's guidance and managed to maintain good form. It was also at this point that I began to notice that there were parts of my body attempting to figure out just what the hell I was doing.
Upon arrival to the group workout session area, I was horrified further by the fact that there were windows on two sides of the area (the gym is in a strip shopping center), giving anyone walking by some of the best seats in the house (other than being inside) to watch the hilarity of me discovering that I do, in fact, have muscles that I didn't know existed. Thankfully, mother nature helped me out with this, as it was ridiculously cold outside, and no one would want to stand around for long. After shooing a couple of people relaxing after a workout from the area. With that, my physical assessment had begun.
Assessment Exercise 1: Basic Squats
'A' demonstrated the movement for me in what can only be called a swan-level of grace as she raised her hands, performed the squat, and rose once again as soon as her posterior hit the plyometric box. I breathed a sigh of relief, as this was going to be relatively easy for me to do, as I have ample experience sitting down and standing back up again (just not standing up the exact moment I'm in a seated position). With that, I stepped in front of the box (it's the tallest one they have thank God), and I began my squats. |
| Veni, Vidi, Vici Squats |
Reality: I had great form on the downward motion, but forgot that exercise is not for the purposes of relaxation, and wound up sitting for a moment on the top of the box before I stood up again. At this point, I am sure that 'A' realized that this guy was going to need a lot of help. After the briefest of moments, 'A' told me I had good form, but that I wasn't supposed to actually sit, rather, I needed to rise up just as soon as my butt hit the box which she again demonstrated for me.
Final Result: After being shown the movement again, I performed 9 more squats, some more rickety than others, but I got through it with 'A's guidance and managed to maintain good form. It was also at this point that I began to notice that there were parts of my body attempting to figure out just what the hell I was doing.
I can't wait to until u do planks
ReplyDelete